Nothing in the world affords a newspaper reporter so much
satisfaction as gathering up the details of a bloody and
mysterious murder, and writing them up with aggravated
circumstantiality. He takes a living delight in this labor of
love for such it is to him especially if he knows that all
the other papers have gone to press, and his will be the only one
that will contain the dreadful intelligence. A feeling of regret
has often come over me that I was not reporting in Rome when
Caesar was killed reporting on an evening paper, and the only
one in the city, and getting at least twelve hours ahead of the
morning paper boys with this most magnificent "item" that ever
fell to the lot of the craft. Other events have happened as
startling as this, but none that possessed so peculiarly all the
characteristics of the favorite "item" of the present day,
magnified into grandeur and sublimity by the high rank, fame, and
social and political standing of the actors in it. In imagination
I have seen myself skirmishing around old Rome, button-holing
soldiers, senators, and citizens by turns, and transferring "all
the particulars" from them to my notebook; and, better still,
arriving at the base of Pompey's statue in time to say
persuasively to the dying Caesar, "Oh! come now, you an't so far
gone, you know, but what you could stir yourself up a little and
tell a fellow just how this thing happened, if you was a mind to,
couldn't you? now do!" and get the "straight of it" from his
own lips, and be envied by the morning paper hounds!
Ah! if I had lived in those days, I would have written up that
item gloatingly, and spiced it with a little moralizing here and
plenty of blood there; and some dark, shuddering mystery; and
praise and pity for some, and misrepresentation and abuse for
others, (who did not patronize the paper,) and gory gashes, and
notes of warning as to the tendency of the times, and extravagant
descriptions of the excitement in the Senate-house and the
street, and all that sort of thing.
However, as I was not permitted to report Caesar's assassination
in the regular way, it has at least afforded me rare satisfaction
to translate the following able account of it from the original
Latin of the Roman Daily Evening Fasces of that date second
edition.
"Our usually quiet city of Rome was thrown into a state of wild
excitement yesterday by the occurrence of one of those bloody
affrays which sicken the heart and fill the soul with fear, while
they inspire all thinking men with forebodings for the future of
a city where human life is held so cheaply, and the gravest laws
are so openly set at defiance. As the result of that affray, it
is our painful duty, as public journalists, to record the death
of one of our most esteemed citizens a man whose name is known
wherever this paper circulates, and whose fame it has been our
pleasure and our privilege to extend, and also to protect from
the tongue of slander and falsehood, to the best of our poor
ability. We refer to Mr. J. Caesar, the Emperor-elect.
"The facts of the case, as nearly as our reporter could determine
them from the conflicting statements of eye-witnesses, were about
as follows: The affair was an election row, of course. Nine
tenths of the ghastly butcheries that disgrace the city nowadays
grow out of the bickerings and jealousies and animosities
engendered by these accursed elections. Rome would be the gainer
by it if her very constables were elected to serve a century; for
in our experience we have never even been able to choose a dog-pelter without celebrating the event with a dozen knock-downs and
a general cramming of the station-house with drunken vagabonds
over night. It is said that when the immense majority for Caesar
at the polls in the market was declared the other day, and the
crown was offered to that gentleman, even his amazing
unselfishness in refusing it three times was not sufficient to
save him from the whispered insults of such men as Casca, of the
Tenth Ward, and other hirelings of the disappointed candidate,
hailing mostly from the Eleventh and Thirteenth and other outside
districts, who were overheard speaking ironically and
contemptuously of Mr. Caesar's conduct upon that occasion.
"We are further informed that there are many among us who think
they are justified in believing that the assassination of Julius
Caesar was a put-up thing a cut-and-dried arrangement, hatched
by Marcus Brutus and a lot of his hired roughs, and carried out
only too faithfully according to the programme. Whether there be
good grounds for this suspicion or not, we leave to the people to
judge for themselves, only asking that they will read the
following account of the sad occurrence carefully and
dispassionately before they render that judgment.
"The Senate was already in session, and Caesar was coming down
the street toward the capitol, conversing with some personal
friends, and followed, as usual, by a large number of citizens.
Just as he was passing in front of Demosthenes & Thucydides's
drug-store, he was observing casually to a gentleman, who, our
informant thinks, is a fortune-teller, that the Ides of March
were come. The reply was, 'Yes, they are come, but not gone yet.'
At this moment Artemidorus stepped up and passed the time of day,
and asked Caesar to read a schedule or a tract, or something of
the kind, which he had brought for his perusal. Mr. Decius Brutus
also said something about an 'humble suit' which he wanted read. Artemidorus begged that attention might be paid to his first,
because it was of personal consequence to Caesar. The latter
replied that what concerned himself should be read last, or words
to that effect. Artemidorus begged and beseeched him to read the
paper instantly.[1] However, Caesar shook him off, and refused to read any petition in the street. He then entered the capitol, and the crowd followed him.
"About this time the following conversation was overheard, and we
consider that, taken in connection with the events which
succeeded it, it bears an appalling significance: Mr. Papilius
Lena remarked to George W. Cassius, (commonly known as the 'Nobby
Boy of the Third Ward,') a bruiser in the pay of the Opposition,
that he hoped his enterprise to-day might thrive; and when
Cassius asked, 'What enterprise?' he only closed his left eye
temporarily and said with simulated indifference, 'Fare you
well,' and sauntered toward Caesar. Marcus Brutus, who is
suspected of being the ringleader of the band that killed Caesar,
asked what it was that Lena had said. Cassius told him, and added
in a low tone, 'I fear our purpose is discovered.'
"Brutus told his wretched accomplice to keep an eye on Lena, and
a moment after Cassius urged that lean and hungry vagrant, Casca,
whose reputation here is none of the best, to be sudden, for he
feared prevention. He then turned to Brutus, apparently much
excited, and asked what should be done, and swore that either he
or Caesar should never turn back he would kill himself first. At this time Caesar was talking to some of the back-country
members about the approaching fall elections, and paying little
attention to what was going on around him. Billy Trebonius got
into conversation with the people's friend and Caesar's Mark
Antony and under some pretense or other got him away, and
Brutus, Decius Casca, Cinna, Metellus Cimber, and others of the
gang of infamous desperadoes that infest Rome at present, closed
around the doomed Caesar. Then Metellus Cimber knelt down and
begged that his brother might be recalled from banishment, but
Caesar rebuked him for his fawning, sneaking conduct, and refused
to grant his petition. Immediately, at Cimber's request, first
Brutus and then Cassius begged for the return of the banished
Publius; but Caesar still refused. He said he could not be moved;
that he was as fixed as the North Star, and proceeded to speak in
the most complimentary terms of the firmness of that star, and
its steady character. Then he said he was like it, and he
believed he was the only man in the country that was; therefore,
since he was 'constant' that Cimber should be banished, he was
also 'constant' that he should stay banished, and he'd be dd
if he didn't keep him so!
"Instantly seizing upon this shallow pretext for a fight, Casca
sprang at Caesar and struck him with a dirk, Caesar grabbing him
by the arm with his right hand, and launching a blow straight
from the shoulder with his left, that sent the reptile bleeding
to the earth. He then backed up against Pompey's statue, and
squared himself to receive his assailants. Cassius and Cimber and
Cinna rushed upon him with their daggers drawn, and the former
succeeded in inflicting a wound upon his body; but before he
could strike again, and before either of the others could strike
at all, Caesar stretched the three miscreants at his feet with as
many blows of his powerful fist. By this time the Senate was in
an indescribable uproar; the throng of citizens in the lobbies
had blockaded the doors in their frantic efforts to escape from
the building, the sergeant-at-arms and his assistants were
struggling with the assassins, venerable senators had cast aside
their encumbering robes, and were leaping over benches and flying
down the aisles in wild confusion toward the shelter of the
committee-rooms, and a thousand voices were shouting, 'Po-lice!
Po-lice!' in discordant tones that rose above the frightful din
like shrieking winds above the roaring of a tempest. And amid it
all, great Caesar stood with his back against the statue, like a
lion at bay, and fought his assailants weaponless and hand to
hand, with the defiant bearing and the unwavering courage which
he had shown before on many a bloody field. Billy Trebonius and
Caius Legarius struck him with their daggers and fell, as their
brother-conspirators before them had fallen. But at last, when
Caesar saw his old friend Brutus step forward, armed with a
murderous knife, it is said he seemed utterly overpowered with
grief and amazement, and dropping his invincible left arm by his
side, he hid his face in the folds of his mantle and received the
treacherous blow without an effort to stay the hand that gave it.
He only said, 'Et tu, Brute?' and fell lifeless on the marble
pavement.
"We learn that the coat deceased had on when he was killed was
the same he wore in his tent on the afternoon of the day he
overcame the Nervii, and that when it was removed from the corpse
it was found to be cut and gashed in no less than seven different
places. There was nothing in the pockets. It will be exhibited at
the coroner's inquest, and will be damning proof of the fact of
the killing. These latter facts may be relied on, as we get them
from Mark Antony, whose position enables him to learn every item
of news connected with the one subject of absorbing interest of
to-day.
"LATER. While the coroner was summoning a jury, Mark Antony
and other friends of the late Caesar got hold of the body, and
lugged it off to the Forum, and at last accounts Antony and
Brutus were making speeches over it and raising such a row among
the people that, as we go to press, the chief of police is
satisfied there is going to be a riot, and is taking measures
accordingly."
1 Mark that: it is hinted by William Shakespeare, who saw the beginning and the end of the unfortunate affray, that this "schedule" was simply a note discovering to Caesar that a plot was brewing to take his life.