I HAD shut the door to. Then I turned around. and
there he was. I used to be scared of him all the time, he
tanned me so much. I reckoned I was scared now, too; but
in a minute I see I was mistaken — that is, after the
first jolt, as you may say, when my breath sort of
hitched, he being so unexpected; but right away after I
see I warn't scared of him worth bothring about.
He was most fifty, and he looked it. His hair was long
and tangled and greasy, and hung down, and you could see
his eyes shining through like he was behind vines. It was
all black, no gray; so was his long, mixed-up whiskers.
There warn't no color in his face, where his face showed;
it was white; not like another man's white, but a white
to make a body sick, a white to make a body's flesh crawl
— a tree-toad white, a fish-belly white. As for his
clothes — just rags, that was all. He had one ankle
resting on t'other knee; the boot on that foot was
busted, and two of his toes stuck through, and he worked
them now and then. His hat was laying on the floor — an
old black slouch with the top caved in, like a lid.
I stood a-looking at him; he set there a-looking at
me, with his chair tilted back a little. I set the candle
down. I noticed the window was up; so he had clumb in by
the shed. He kept a-looking me all over. By and by he
says:
"Starchy clothes — very. You think you're a good
deal of a big-bug, DON'T you?"
"Maybe I am, maybe I ain't," I says.
"Don't you give me none o' your lip," says
he. "You've put on considerable many frills since I
been away. I'll take you down a peg before I get done
with you. You're educated, too, they say — can read and
write. You think you're better'n your father, now, don't
you, because he can't? I'LL take it out of you. Who told
you you might meddle with such hifalut'n foolishness,
hey? — who told you you could?"
"The widow. She told me."
"The widow, hey? — and who told the widow she
could put in her shovel about a thing that ain't none of
her business?"
"Nobody never told her."
"Well, I'll learn her how to meddle. And looky
here — you drop that school, you hear? I'll learn people
to bring up a boy to put on airs over his own father and
let on to be better'n what HE is. You lemme catch you
fooling around that school again, you hear? Your mother
couldn't read, and she couldn't write, nuther, before she
died. None of the family couldn't before THEY died. I
can't; and here you're a-swelling yourself up like this.
I ain't the man to stand it — you hear? Say, lemme hear
you read."
I took up a book and begun something about General
Washington and the wars. When I'd read about a half a
minute, he fetched the book a whack with his hand and
knocked it across the house. He says:
"It's so. You can do it. I had my doubts when you
told me. Now looky here; you stop that putting on frills.
I won't have it. I'll lay for you, my smarty; and if I
catch you about that school I'll tan you good. First you
know you'll get religion, too. I never see such a son.
He took up a little blue and yaller picture of some
cows and a boy, and says:
"What's this?"
"It's something they give me for learning my
lessons good."
He tore it up, and says:
"I'll give you something better — I'll give you
a cowhide.
He set there a-mumbling and a-growling a minute, and
then he says:
"AIN'T you a sweet-scented dandy, though? A bed;
and bedclothes; and a look'n'-glass; and a piece of
carpet on the floor — and your own father got to sleep
with the hogs in the tanyard. I never see such a son. I
bet I'll take some o' these frills out o' you before I'm
done with you. Why, there ain't no end to your airs —
they say you're rich. Hey? — how's that?"
"They lie — that's how."
"Looky here — mind how you talk to me; I'm
astanding about all I can stand now — so don't gimme no
sass. I've been in town two days, and I hain't heard
nothing but about you bein' rich. I heard about it away
down the river, too. That's why I come. You git me that
money to-morrow — I want it."
"I hain't got no money."
"It's a lie. Judge Thatcher's got it. You git it.
I want it."
"I hain't got no money, I tell you. You ask Judge
Thatcher; he'll tell you the same."
"All right. I'll ask him; and I'll make him
pungle, too, or I'll know the reason why. Say, how much
you got in your pocket? I want it."
"I hain't got only a dollar, and I want that to
—"
"It don't make no difference what you want it for
— you just shell it out."
He took it and bit it to see if it was good, and then
he said he was going down town to get some whisky; said
he hadn't had a drink all day. When he had got out on the
shed he put his head in again, and cussed me for putting
on frills and trying to be better than him; and when I
reckoned he was gone he come back and put his head in
again, and told me to mind about that school, because he
was going to lay for me and lick me if I didn't drop that.
Next day he was drunk, and he went to Judge Thatcher's
and bullyragged him, and tried to make him give up the
money; but he couldn't, and then he swore he'd make the
law force him.
The judge and the widow went to law to get the court
to take me away from him and let one of them be my
guardian; but it was a new judge that had just come, and
he didn't know the old man; so he said courts mustn't
interfere and separate families if they could help it;
said he'd druther not take a child away from its father.
So Judge Thatcher and the widow had to quit on the
business.
That pleased the old man till he couldn't rest. He
said he'd cowhide me till I was black and blue if I
didn't raise some money for him. I borrowed three dollars
from Judge Thatcher, and pap took it and got drunk, and
went a-blowing around and cussing and whooping and
carrying on; and he kept it up all over town, with a tin
pan, till most midnight; then they jailed him, and next
day they had him before court, and jailed him again for a
week. But he said HE was satisfied; said he was boss of
his son, and he'd make it warm for HIM.
When he got out the new judge said he was a-going to
make a man of him. So he took him to his own house, and
dressed him up clean and nice, and had him to breakfast
and dinner and supper with the family, and was just old
pie to him, so to speak. And after supper he talked to
him about temperance and such things till the old man
cried, and said he'd been a fool, and fooled away his
life; but now he was a-going to turn over a new leaf and
be a man nobody wouldn't be ashamed of, and he hoped the
judge would help him and not look down on him. The judge
said he could hug him for them words; so he cried, and
his wife she cried again; pap said he'd been a man that
had always been misunderstood before, and the judge said
he believed it. The old man said that what a man wanted
that was down was sympathy, and the judge said it was so;
so they cried again. And when it was bedtime the old man
rose up and held out his hand, and says:
"Look at it, gentlemen and ladies all; take a-hold
of it; shake it. There's a hand that was the hand of a
hog; but it ain't so no more; it's the hand of a man
that's started in on a new life, and'll die before he'll
go back. You mark them words — don't forget I said them.
It's a clean hand now; shake it — don't be afeard."
So they shook it, one after the other, all around, and
cried. The judge's wife she kissed it. Then the old man
he signed a pledge — made his mark. The judge said it
was the holiest time on record, or something like that.
Then they tucked the old man into a beautiful room, which
was the spare room, and in the night some time he got
powerful thirsty and clumb out on to the porch-roof and
slid down a stanchion and traded his new coat for a jug
of forty-rod, and clumb back again and had a good old
time; and towards daylight he crawled out again, drunk as
a fiddler, and rolled off the porch and broke his left
arm in two places, and was most froze to death when
somebody found him after sun-up. And when they come to
look at that spare room they had to take soundings before
they could navigate it.
The judge he felt kind of sore. He said he reckoned a
body could reform the old man with a shotgun, maybe, but
he didn't know no other way.